jennykerne's Journal
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| Saturday, November 6th, 2004 | | 1:50 pm |
.............so kenny and i had sex... LOL JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK(that was for you jason) OK, so i know i havent updated for AWHILE but that cause i've been a wee bit busy. but its all cool now. so here is my list of updates 1) I MADE THE BASKETBALL TEAM!!!!!!!!! 2) I'M GETTING GOOD GRADES 3) MY FRIENDS ARE NOT PISSING ME OFF 4) KENNY IS AMAZING 5) AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, I FOUND OUT MY DUMB COUSIN READS THIS. LOL o well. | | Thursday, October 21st, 2004 | | 10:13 pm |
Once apon a time, there was a girl who had never play ball before, but for some un explainable reason she loved the sport. so for four long years, she worked as hard as she possible could to learn the game. then one day she realized, she really isnt that bad after all. moral of the story. u can do anything u set ur mind too | | Wednesday, October 20th, 2004 | | 6:11 pm |
There is this one friend i have who refused to consider me a good friend, and i have to tell you that really hurts. partially cause i consider him one of my closes and also everytime i put myself out there for him he always rejects me. i never understand why and it hurts me really bad. now i know for a fact that he couldnt give a flying fuck how i feel, but for some un explainable reason i care about him. and not the type of care like oooo i wana date u but the kinda ihave for my closes friends. the kind that is like if u say shit about my friends all fuck u up. that sorta thing, and i know he wouldnt do the same for me and i dont know why. and the fact that im not close wit him isnt my falt. cuase if he wanted to be my close friend, he would care aobut my problems when i tell him. but he never does. god this sucks.......... well im confused and now very pissed. im outty | | Monday, October 18th, 2004 | | 4:02 pm |
OMG IM SO FUCKING NERVOUS ABOUT BASKETBALL TRYOUTS. IM LIKE HAVING A FUCKING PANIC ATTACK. OK WELL NOT THAT BAD, BUT IM DEFFINENTLY FUCKING FREAKING, SO YEA THAT ALL THATS NEW/ | | Sunday, October 10th, 2004 | | 2:28 pm |
It was like eating all of a cookie except the last crum. You dont feel like you ate anything, cause u didnt finish what u started. I wish i had my last crum.......................... owell shit happens my poem for the day.................... Sit Let the music fill your body Bump your blood faster and faster through your veins. Making your heart pond to the beat of the music. Your muscle to contract as the music climaxes. Emotions run through your body. Like little demand pinching you in different places making you jump and squirm and feel things you’ve never felt before. Your head floats raises above all other thoughts listening to every word, and believing it. Like an abused child looking for comfort in all the wrong places. Making you think things that never would have crossed your mind. Its like an orgasim on the highest level. Making your ears burn, on fire from all the things its has to take in. every note, every sylabl, every breathe. Learning to expand to the diffenert tempos. Then out of no where it all stops, and leaves your body empty. Like a leech sucking away at everything you have. Its all gone. | | Saturday, October 2nd, 2004 | | 3:45 pm |
Dont look down, keep your back straight. Smile, Please thank you. Shake a hand, give a hug. Breathe Wana quite? Can't? to scared. Head hurt arms ache. feet sweat, knees burn. chest strains breathe Look away, take in another day. slouch a little make a mistake. Dont take shit, let out a sigh. cry a little. hurt a little. breathe............ | | Sunday, September 26th, 2004 | | 3:58 pm |
THIS IS TO ANYONE I EVER CALLED A CLOSE FRIEND You think u know, but u have no idea. No matter what u think, im always there. When u need advise, and u turn to someone else. i know, and i give that one u turned to the advise. When ur happy, i know, cuase i probably helped make it right. I know this may sound stackerish but its not what u think.I unitentually, always find out. and some how, i get stuck in the middle. so find comfort in knowing, im always there. whether u've come to me, or i have found out from someone else. once a good friend always a good friend Homecoming update........... no longer going wit carly and rachel. dont know whos in my group besides kenny. which right about now doesnt sound that bad. so i cant wait. my dress is ready. all i have to do is pick out a hair style. call me if u wana go wit me other wise peace out | | Tuesday, September 21st, 2004 | | 3:22 pm |
Ok so heres what i want to know, is how people can be so shallow and blind. I mean i guess everyone is to some extent and thats just human nature u could say. but what about those people, who judge some just off how they look, or by how they talk, or buy who the talk to. that really pissed me off. so if anyones got an idea tell me. in other news.......... i cant belive i missed the sisterhood sleep over, that really sucked balls, causei really wanted to go. but my mom wouldnt let me cuase she thought i would be up all night and then i wuld get sick cause i had all this shit to do the next day. damn i guess she was kinda right, but i really wantedt o go. And i also felt really bad casue i promised someone i would be there and i wasnt so idk what i'm going to do about that one. how im doing right?.............. well im pretty happy. Homecoming is coming up in like two weeks. i got the sweetest dress alive. and um........ my group so far consistes of me, kenny, carly, and rachel. i hope it all works out well. so yea thats all | | Saturday, September 11th, 2004 | | 10:56 pm |
You never know how good u truley have something till its gone. I dont understand, why no one can except it. what happen? why cant things ever been easy???!!! it hurts so bad, but theres nothing i can do. the best things in life are hard, and thats what i keep telling myself. so just keep trying and then one day. things will changes. and the harshness of this all will disappear. My stomach hurts, like someones twisting, and twisting. like a wet towel that they have to dry faster. my chest hurts, like an elephant is sitting on me. i dont understand, its as perfect as a puzzle. so what piece went missing?? | | Sunday, September 5th, 2004 | | 12:15 am |
A PeAcH Iz a pEaCH a PlUm Iz a PlUm a KiSs aNt a KiSs WiToUt SoMe toung So OpEn MoUtH AnD ClOsE uR EyEz AnD gIvE Ur ToUnG SoMe eXeRcIzE The quote of my life. If u've ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend u know what im talking about. i mean ever time u see them u "make out" atleast once. and i (this is going to sound so perverted) get such a kick out of making out infront of people. but im also a hippacrit about that cause i hate when others do it. lol but i love the rush, like everyones watching. so u gotta make it look good. lol wow im so perverted. but its the trust, so live wit it. | | Monday, August 30th, 2004 | | 6:34 pm |
Whats the worst you would do if you knew you would never get caught? The question that probably spooks everyone more then you think. think it | | Saturday, August 28th, 2004 | | 5:43 pm |
I really i have no idea what to write about in this entry. Nothing really huge has happen that i can talk to you all about. Last night was light the field, and i will never forget it cuase it was one of the best times i ever had. it could have been written in movie and still not have been anywhere near as perfect. which was great cause i didnt think i would have had that great of a time. See when i got there it was just me and kenny, and then we saw mike and kelsey so when to go sit with them. which was goood becuase they're our friends and they werer with alot of people i know. and hten Carly and rachel came along and sat next to us, which is great cause there two of good friends. and then sam and katlyn came and next near us which was assome for two reasons. one cause they told me they werent even going to come, and then sam and katlyn are so funny which made it great. then the game was great, it was so intsence, to bad we lost though. but it was still amazing. the after game wasnt so good cause i dint get to got ot the mixer but its ok cause kenny promise to take me to the air band mixer instead, since he didnt go to this one. so thats all thats new. | | Wednesday, August 25th, 2004 | | 4:54 pm |
School has started, and all hell has broken lose. Just kidding, school really isnt that bad. The teachers are all pretty good and the kids are terrible they are just not bad enought to complain. im trying something new now. its called being myself. See last year i wasnt me, i didnt act like me, i didnt talk like me, i dint make the same decition that i know i should have. I could always find myself doing this after i did it but could NEVER figure out why i was doing it. that is, till i realize last week that the reason why i was so different was because i was trying to please everyone else. in doing so i changed. i changed in all the ways i said and i also changed in the fact that i have almost no confidence whats so ever. which is a terrible thing cause i use to not care AT ALL what people thought i just did what i want. i say that of course to a certain extent. like i never really made to big of a fool of myself. but i learned that i cant try to be what everyone whats me to be. i cant say i like things just cause i think people will like me for it, or i cant say i've dont things cause i think people will like me for it. and i konw that, thats how i've been acting for the last year or so. and its wrong. andi would love for everyone who is like me to learn from my mistake but i'm not to sure that could happen becuase these are one of those things that someone has to learn on there own. so if anyone of u see a change in me, you'll know why. If i act more opionated this is why, is i seem mean about certain things, this is why. almost every change about me this y ear will be me trying to just be me, and as corny as this sounds. to be true to my hart. so yea thats all | | Thursday, August 19th, 2004 | | 11:14 pm |
The count down is on, only four days till school start. oooooooooooooooooooooooow got chills just thinking that one. wow i cant believe the summer is almost over. god doesnt even feel like ive been on break, i feel like i need one!!! haha thats funny, cause i've been on brake................. aw never mind (lol iknow no one laughted at that) im kinda excited too though cause that means i get to see all my "friends" that i didnt see over the summer. isnt it ironic? that im talking about the same friends that i just said in my last entry to kinda sux balls. lol im a fickled person sometimes. o well what u going to do. o yea............ i forgot but i just remebered this quote that i have that i think i should share wit everyone "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth. " i know its hard but if everyone lived like that then there wouldnt be nearly as much hurt in this world. but sadly thats not how things work. well its late and im tired and i have nothing more to talk about love ya all im out | | Wednesday, August 18th, 2004 | | 4:47 pm |
So i just finished my summer reading book and i have to say, i really like it. i really liked it cause the author hit on things that i would never dare talk about and it made me feel better that i wasnt the only one who's mind has crossed one idea or another. do you ever get that feeling though? that ur so wierd and unique in the things you think sometimes. i do. and it scares me u know? well maybe you do and maybe you dont but either way, i think it was a great learning book. as for my social life.................... nothing really is going on. i dont think this schoool year is going to be to easy ont he hole friends thing but im hoping for the best. i mean, clare and erin have been hanging around alot lately so it gives me some hope on some newer and better friendships. which i reallly think i could use, since most of my other school buddies kinda sux balls. (which i would never tell anyone of them to their face) but yea.......... as for other feelings.............. im so nervous about basketball. i mean i been working so hard and i think that over hte next three months my game is going to get worse cause im not on a team. and playing at the gym cause only help so much i htink. thats all i've got for now. if u need me u konw where im at. | | Sunday, August 15th, 2004 | | 4:47 pm |
HAPPY
So....... i havent had an new entry in awhile, and some may be wondering why. well ther reason is because i have been out of town. and let me say. alot has been going on. first off i spent some time wit maya and traci(two of my best friends from camp chi). i really had alot of fun. i dont remeber having that much fun in a loooooooooong time. and i truly made me feel more confident about myself. which was good because the next day i left for MACCABI aka jewball. well maccabi was alot of fun, however my team mates didnt warm up to me. so that kinda sucked but after that it was amazing. were the team that litterally everyone feared (cause we were so good) we had gone undefeded up till the last game. we lost the last gaem by one point because of a jump shot the other team made at the LAST SECOND litterally. so that sucked. but it was amazing i loved it sooooooooo much. and i met the nicest people in the world. lol thats ironic cause there were people from all over the world there. lol so yea...... and the best part (besides being the best team) was listening to everyone elses accents lol it was the funnest shit i have ever heard. lol i loved it. and everyone told us we had accents which was really wierd cause then they would try to show up and it seem to off. but it was still alot of fun. so now that im home i have a will more than a week before school. which means i have alot of summer reading ot do. i guess that means i should go do it............. yea so im out. leave me a comment of whatever if u wana talk. lata | | Wednesday, August 4th, 2004 | | 10:18 pm |
I wish i could sit here and type a journal entry that would make everyone laught and feel really good and shit like that. but i cant, i cant do that cause i dont even feel like that. I haven't TRULY laughed in like a month, and i havent truly felt happy in like two weeks. this is really hard for me. i mean right now i feel so empty and so alone. and i know i have people who are "there" for me, but there not the people i need. The people who are offering to help me, thanx, but for some reason its only the people i barely talk to and thats not who i need right now. i need the peps who i see every day(and who i help everday) to come to my rescue. now i dont mean to make myself sound all high and might on hte hole friendship thing, cause im not. but i like to think i have a good idea on what makes a good friend. and as of right now, i havent meet more then three people (in my hole life) who has been a true friend to me. and the worst of all of this is that i dont even talk to two of those people and hte third is my boyfriend. My boyfriend................. god, i love him so much. Some people think its crazy to be this young and to bo truly in love. well i just laugh in there face. my boyfriend.........wow. he's the only thing in my life that i can just think of and be happy. he makes me feel great about myself, he's there when i ask, and he knows me better then i know me some times. You know thats what i can talk about. Jen's top ten ways of knowing your in love: * he makes you feel sexy * he makes you laugh * you can talk to him about anything * just thinking about him makes everything better * the thought of him hurt is the worst feeling in the world * he makes you a better person when he's around * you can get him out of your head * you know eachother better then you know yourselves * Would do anything for him no matter how much you hate it, just cause u want to see him happy * talking is just as good as doing other things ;) lol ok well thats made me feel a little better. if any of you wana talk just tell me. (write a comment) then i will write you back or call or however u got ahold of me. love ya all -jen- | | Sunday, August 1st, 2004 | | 6:04 pm |
Do u like me?
I hate people. i trully do sometimes. i mean they can be to rude and condisending. i hate it. i also hate people hwo judge u before they even get to know you. so yea, some on ur may be thinking why is she talking like htis? Well, this weekend i had my maccabi like get to know everyone tourny. i have to tell you, i hated them all. i hated them all bascially cause they all hated me. they never made an attempt to tlak to me,(which they did with eachother) and they didnt even really talk to me when i gave the attempt. i really hate that. i mean, theirs not much i can do about them not liking me. but it hurts, you know? but w/e theirs not much i can do. i tried and they never really did. w/e yea.........so that was my weekend. o yea, and kenny left on thursday. so i dont get ot see him for hte next two weeks. this all sucks so bad. im out | | Thursday, July 29th, 2004 | | 3:17 pm |
Im done
ok im done being depressed, i know its not that easy but i am going to try. so in honor of this new idea me and carly went sam ash. we had a great time. we made friends with the hole story and litterally played every instrument!!! also since i have a camara phone we took pics of all of this so if u wana see them just ask. omg it was alot of fun. and this weekend im going to wisconsin for a bball tournement. i hope its going to be fun. so far, however, i only really like one person on my team. partially cause thats the only person who's really come over to talk to me. so yea. i cant wait. also for all the people that might be mad at me, yeah idk what to do. im going to try to start on a clean slate. yea.... ok well im going to have fun!!!!!!!! and by fun i mean sleep. cuase summerschool ended today and im so happy, since i havent really gotten alot of spell these last three weeks, so yea. nighty night everyone!!!!!!!!!!! ps i also have a party tonight. hell yea!!!!!!! | | Wednesday, July 28th, 2004 | | 1:46 pm |
READ ME
wow, i was just reading some of my journal enteries and god does my life sound depressing. Or maybe is it that i'm depressed? you never know, i mean i always talk about what sucks. And im not always the happiest person around. idk im just sad right now. I mean, i know i've changed. I use to be all nice and loving and opptimistic. now im bitchy, and sacred, and not as openminded. im not even sure what happen to me that i changed like this, but something sometime happend and forever (i think) changed me. idk what im going to do. ok thats it, |
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